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The other day I gave my word to find favor and gratefulness in every single moment of the day. I lied! In an instant, I forgot my word. Instead of seeing the moment that someone failed to do what he said he was going to do as an instance of sweet ignorance or a moment to teach, I became upset and frustrated. I then remembered my promise, I apologized and began again.Debbie Quarles, one of my co-participants in a leadership program called the Self Expression Leadership Program (SELP) and now coach, said to me the other day, “I’m dealing with if I should go to a new event because I’ve already given my word to attend another event.” I said, what’s the new event? Debbie replied, “it’s a camping event and me going to the event will determine if it’s an overnight trip or just a day trip for the scout troop.” Of course, if you know me, I said forget the adults, the kids will be over joyed by an opportunity to be out in the wilderness AND for overnight trip! Man - just go for it.
In that moment, I really got present to that Debbie considered carefully her promise - her word - and was willing to forgo the opportunity to create an amazing adventure for some little guys. I then realized that it wasn’t about her pleasing or not pleasing the little one’s - it was about honoring what she said she would do. As I lament, perhaps her keeping her promise was more of an adventure for the little guys than a night in the woods.
It was an interesting conversation with Debbie and I believe she was actually able to work out what she said she would do - in communication - and still create a great over night with the little guys.
What’s surprising to me is that I was, initially, really cavalier about her relationship to her word because.....(and it really doesn’t matter - just fill in the blank). I get it. It’s what I tend to do sometimes. I just create a justification for breaking my word - as if that makes it alright. I don’t hold my self accountable, as I did earlier this week when I forgot my promise to find favor and gratefulness in every single moment. I have been careless in the past.
“But I tell you that men will have to give account on the day of judgment for every careless word they have spoken”
(Matthew 12:36).
I am exceptionally clear, as I watch my current team unfold, that my word, your word and our word are so essential to the effective development of US. US as a community of people who can trust each other, count on each other and love each other. I get it - in a very different way than I ever got it before.
The new way I get it is: OUR WORD IS POWERFUL! Our word is a powerful expression of who we are as human beings, what we stand for, what our legacy will be and who the world knows us to be. It’s as simple as that. For those of you with children or who work with children, for those of you who lead teams of people, know this - your word is golden.
Given the golden power of your word, I offer you this to consider: Be impeccable with your word, the first of The Four Agreements. That does not only mean keep your promises and communicating updates and changes in original promises, it also means doing what you said you would do, by when you said you would do it and how you know it should be done. Mostly, I believe it means - know that what you say to your child, your co-worker, your team mate, your spouse, your subordinate or to your world really makes a difference.
Consider carefully your words and do not take them for granted. Use your word for the magic of possibility, creation and abundance. Use your word to acknowledge the difference people are to me, to you and to the world.
I promise to honor the word I gave to you, I promise to do my best. Thank you for accepting me as a humble human being - and know that when I forget my promise that I expect that you will remind me from a place of favor and compassion and I will do the same. Thank you for your trust. Thank you for knowing that there is a system that works and trusting that system because of the word that the leaders gave to you that it works. Thank you for being a part of a team in action.
James Jordan, Notes to a Leader
Today, I acknowledge Tim, Jenny, Jon, Jen and Bruce for the difference you are to the world in action - The Freedom Fighters. I am moved by the stand that you all are. I am moved by your trust. I love you and thank you all. Welcome to the team!
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